The process of forgiveness works on its own time schedule. There is no right or wrong amount of time it takes to find forgiveness for someone else or yourself. Forgiveness is always possible. The literal definition of forgiveness is: to cease to feel resentment against. This makes sense because most of the time we have to forgive someone it is because we are angry at them for something they did usually to hurt us.
So why should we practice forgiveness?
- Forgiveness seems unnatural sometimes. We want to stay mad at the person who wronged us and hang onto that anger. This isn’t healthy though. In order for us to be the healthiest versions of ourselves we have to go through the process of forgiveness.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was ok and it doesn’t mean that the person should be welcome in your life either. Forgiveness merely means that you have made peace with the pain and are ready to let it go-this is one of the biggest reasons to forgive.
- Forgiving someone is not something we do for others we do it for ourselves. Not forgiving someone keeps you trapped in the anger you have for them. When you forgive them you can finally set yourself free from that negative emotion
- Forgiveness takes strength and courage.
- Forgiveness is also about forgiving yourself. When you can forgive others you can also forgive yourself for your own mistakes.
- Forgiveness is one of the highest forms of love. This doesn’t mean that you love the person you are forgiving it just means that you love yourself enough to give yourself that sense of peace that comes from forgiving someone as well as allowing them to move on peace too.
So now that we know why we should go through the process of forgiveness how do we do it? Forgiving someone can sometimes seem easier said than done. Well, we know forgiveness is a practice of letting go of resentment or anger. So in order to begin the process of forgiveness we must start to let go of anger towards them.
- Think of them as a child or someone very close to you
- Remember its easier to forgive than it is to hang onto the anger
- Do not keep thinking of the past or the bad thing that happened. Stay in the present.
- Remember that everyone is doing the best they can all the time-including who you are upset with.
- Remind yourself how much forgiveness would mean to you if you were the one had done the wrong.
- Pray for them or every time you think of them send them love.
- Realize that the hurt they caused you was not about you but was about them
- Recognize your part in the situation and forgive yourself
- Write a letter then burn it
- Think of others who may be feeling the way you are feeling and pray for them
All of these things are how you can begin the process of forgiving. Chances are if you do these things you will find yourself ready to forgive. Forgiveness is not merely an apology but an actual of action of you letting go of your anger so you can have peace and happiness in your own life. Accept forgiveness and accept your happiness. This is the process of forgiveness.